Despite some of my best efforts to resurface lately, my soul is persistent in gently pulling me back down to the solace of the deep waters within. Is it the season? Perhaps. Winter is known for it's introspective nature and it's inclination for most of nature to hibernate. I used to dread this time, due in part to the fact that I would go to great lengths to ignore those deep feelings. I simply was not really comfortable swimming in water that deep.
I'm finding now as I embark on my journey to evolve on a soul level, I'm quite content with swimming in the deep, dark waters within. For the first time probably ever, I don't feel claustrophobic, or like I'm going to drown. Letting myself float amongst the flotsam of my psyche is quite liberating. Instead of clambering to the surface every time I bump into something in a state of sheer panic, I find that I'm content to turn around and take a closer look at that "thing" that just bumped into me. Sometimes the things I discover are quite illuminating. They serve as a light to guide me on my swim, shedding light on some of the other things that I bump into along the way.
The first time I went under, I hit the bottom and landed on a ship that had sunk quite some time ago. I wanted to shoot right back to the surface, but curiosity got the better of me. I decided to explore. Somehow I managed to find a hidden treasure amongst the barnacles and rot. The pearls of wisdom were blindingly glittery despite the darkness. It was probably one of the most illuminating swims in the fathoms within, and when I resurfaced, I was forever changed. Never again would I be afraid of the deep water.
As a former land-lover, I've discovered here lately that I'm more content swimming in the deep, healing ocean of my soul. It's SO quiet here. There is so much chaos and clatter on land that my spirit longs for the silence when I'm above too long. Ah, the sweet surrender of dropping below and going within!
Lately, I've been swimming daily. Yesterday, I was quite piqued when I encountered a door. I didn't see it coming, and it hit me square in the forehead. Of all things to hit in the water, I never expected to hit a door. Especially one that seems to be free-floating. Perhaps today, when I take my daily swim, I'll manage to figure out if I open it or swim around it. I know that no matter what, the discovery will be transforming somehow. I can't wait to put my bathing suit on!